im the only demon that i will forever keep

i was so sure wasn't i? sign, sealed and confirmed.

that i didn't even need to hesitate when signing it all away.

but i've been waiting on go, collect $200 only lasts for so long

i've lost turns just to become a prisoner of my own monopoly.

so i hoard...

all of my unanswered thoughts, questions, fears..

of self doubt, of their doubt

when i used to know without hesitation which hemisphere i was facing.

now everything is coming unwound like the dwindling of a spinning monster truck toy.

slowly floating my ego and energy back to reality

when i hit 10,000 feet that's when my fears appeared

i had been living in the clouds and damning my past below.

down casted eyes beaming on the ones whom i fell victim to

but im always quick to point blame arent i?

we all are.

so its ring ring ring

can you save me from my thoughts?

its a quarter passed two and i can't sleep

and you repeat repeat repeat

in your over-xanax relieved tone

that im the only demon that i will forever keep

there's so much i want to say to you

so many excuses and lies...

for the reasons i let slip by my fingers

too passive to your other ties..

my tears were never meant to float your way

but levees break after consistent wear

neither were your reasons to support our time

i guess maybe you were never really there

falling leaves...

time to shed the comfortable green

wilted petals fall from a distance

i held them all up so high

but they broke when seasons changed

turning colors just like tides

giving tree

do you not miss me?

i gave you everything i could

so much that i have nothing left to give.

but a stump.

august came and i waited.

the silence before the change.

i miss your angst but most of all

i miss the way we both smile.